House Divided

In a brick house on Merriam-Webster Lane, six friends gathered together to prepare dinner. Looking at the group, you would never understand how they ended up together. They stood around the refrigerator and looked at Gregarious expectantly.

            He beamed and greeted them.

“Hello everyone! It’s so nice to have dinner together after spending the day out at work, on errands, or in our rooms. I look forward to pleasant conversation over what will be a delicious meal.”

            “Ok, ok just get on with it. He’s acting like it’s a motivational speech, the idiot.” Disparage grumbled. “Just post the list.”

 Brushing off the insult, Gregarious clipped a piece of paper to a magnet on the fridge. “These are all the things that need to be done to prepare dinner – I have given you each a task as usual. So, get to work!” He grabbed a carton of strawberries and set to work washing them.

            Obdurate cleared his throat loudly, coming up beside Gregarious. “Excuse me, but it seems you have put me down for making baked potatoes…But I always set the table.”

“Well. I gave that to Disparage this time.”

They heard the noise of Disparage’s griping coming from the dining room. “Who even bought these plates? Terrible color, and poor quality! And for Pete’s sake who washed these glass bowls? They’re all cloudy and splotchy!” He yelled.

 “Yes, but I always set the table. And Disparage doesn’t even know how to do it.” Obdurate protested.

“Well, we are all adults here. I think Disparage is capable of setting a table.” Gregarious replied brightly.

“You know what? I’m going to go help him because it’s really my job. Then maybe I will consider taking on the new job of making baked potatoes.” Obdurate announced, stalking off.

Gregarious grinned, despite the complaint, as he distributed the strawberries among six bowls. “How is the salad coming Belligerent? Done chopping the veggies yet?”

“Die veggies, die arghhh!” Belligerent cried as she stabbed the head of lettuce.

“Um hey,” Gregarious rushed over. “Belligerent, we do not need to do that. We do not hate the veggies, we want to eat the veggies.”

“What did you expect?” Disparage asked incredulously. “The girl has got anger issues. You had to be crazy to think she could handle using a knife!”

“Like I have always said, she should stick to really safe jobs or no involvement in the kitchen at all. That is the only way. I will never think you are right about including her.” Obdurate declared.

“All right Belligerent, we slice like this, ok?” Gregarious ignored the other two and directed her. “There you go.” He faced the complainers and plastered on a polite smile. “I am going to check on the steaks if you will excuse me.”

He walked out to the patio. The grill was lit up, but no one was there. “Docile?” He called.

“Right here.” A timid voice whispered. A young woman sat quietly in a wicker chair. “They are almost done.”

“Oh sorry, didn’t notice you. You always sit so quietly. Almost finished? That’s right, I never do have to worry about you. You always do what is needed.”

Docile nodded. Gregarious slipped back inside.

“Hey Gregarious, I am working on the potatoes, but do not go thinking this will become a thing every day. I am the table setter.” Obdurate warned.

“I’m sorry I didn’t give you that job, I didn’t know you liked it that much.” Gregarious apologized.

“I don’t like it really. It’s just what I always do.” Obdurate replied.

            Later, the friends set all the dishes on the table and were ready to sit down and say the blessing. (Well Gregarious and Docile said it, Obdurate and Disparage picked the tradition apart and complained about it. Belligerent just threatened her food quietly.)

            “Wait what doofus forgot to pour the drinks?” Disparage grunted.

            “Oh yes,” Gregarious’ brow furrowed in an uncharacteristic frown. “Elusive, we need the drinks. That was your task, correct?”

            No answer.

            “Elusive?” Gregarious called again. “Was she not here the whole time? We can’t eat without her, this is supposed to be for all of us…Docile, will you go find Elusive?”

            Docile nodded and tiptoed off in her quiet, obedient way.

            “That Elusive is a slacker, and you cannot tell me any different.” Obdurate accused.

            “Well, this dinner has been a disaster,” Disparage commented.

            “She is not in her usual hiding places,” Docile told them.

            Gregarious sighed. “Well, I guess we tried to have dinner together.”